dear chrome, wtf?

so i was out last night, drinking beers in illegal places, with my lawless friends…hey, wow, my beer is empty. i think i’ll have another. it was a red ale it was, brewed within 2 miles of where i was standing. the night was cool and so was the bottle. what happened next…not so cool. i reached for my chrome messenger bag to utilize the ‘seat-belt buckle release that doubles as a bottle opener’ (according to their website). flip of the wrist…pop! fuck! …blood.

snapped the neck right off the bottle.

yeah, i know. shit happens. and i was drunk…but. this isn’t the first time i’ve seen this happen. last year a friend of mine was opening a beer for me with his chrome bag and the same thing happened, without the filleted hand.

now i’ve seen beers opened with all sorts of stuff, knives, screwdrivers, lighters, even teeth (florida style). but never have i seen any shit like that. chrome surely wins the ‘worst designed bottle opener in history’ award, stealing the title from fired bullet.


1 Response to “dear chrome, wtf?”

  1. 1 sean
    July 30, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    What a waste of beer…

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